I'm the type of person who likes to have a plan - a path - I'm flexible enough, being elastigirl, to waver or veer off for a while if it seems appropriate or fun - but I still like a direction. Here's what I want to be doing:
- Looking for house and schools in the diocese named for our state. I will have to start all over as a Postulant, so it might as well be now - I would have Mr I. put out his name with a head-hunter within that diocese and off we would go. Problem is that fabulous SIL and BIL just moved here to be closer to us and the boyz
- I could MTS out of the school I'm in - be done - and go back to my previous career as a nurse - I am weird enough that I liked the end-of-life care when I did CPE - I could go back and do that - it is direct ministry to the people in the fast lane to meet God
Here's what I am doing:
- Sitting still and waiting - not patiently
- Praying - God keeps saying to me through prayer and other people to be still and know that God is God and no one else is
- Waiting for my "official" letter from the diocese. Some of the others who got the same news I have said there might be other options in it - such as going before the Standing Committee again at a later date - I could be offered diaconate only - or I could just be out
- Looking for Grace - I am grateful that this is not a life or death issue
- Helping my grandmother move this week - she has started falling often, so we're moving her from a regular apartment in a family complex to a handicapped accessible apartment in a retirement complex
Thank you all for your swears and prayers - Fr. Rector has a meeting tomorrow with the Bishop to try & determine what the deal is and if there is any way this can be appealed.
10 comments:
You know I'm a master of sitting still - not necessarily listening patiently - but sitting without a purpose, I can do. I think I'd have trouble sitting still in this instance as well. Truth be told, I'm wishing there was something I could do for you. I want to DO something.
When Mr. Swizzle and I were in NC pondering moving home, I found a book called "The Bush Isn't Burning, and I'm All Out of Matches." Interestingly, I didn't make it all the way through the book, because the decision became clear and simple.
I will continue to pray for your path to become clear and simple. Heck, maybe even paved!
The outcome of Fr. Rector's meeting will be interesting.
I had the experience of having a much less-qualified male chosen over me for a position that I badly wanted. Turned out that by waiting through a very difficult year putting up with that, I got selected for a position that not only opened up a paid-for graduate education, but put me on a track to advance much more quickly. Meanwhile, they fired the less-than-competent male!
Sitting still is incredibly hard to do, but just wait until you see what God is up to! He can use the most devastating experiences to make wonderful creations!
PS Thanks so much for the stuff for the Littlest Grandson. His parents are thrilled.
I certainly understand the wanting to be doing something! And you are doing a great job at BEING instead.
I am very grateful that Fr. R has a meeting with bishop. I want HEADS TO ROLL! or, failing that, some more to go on. :)
I asked Fr. R. what I could do. He said: "Stand for Vestry."
Humph. Praying on THAT.
It's wretched to have to be still when we like to have a plan! Somehow these kinds of days do not speed by the way others do. I hope you will know more soon.
Praying for Fr. Rector's meeting. I know he will be a good and strong advocate for you, so that's good.
But I'm still angry and struggling to understand what those people could possibly be thinking???!!!
So glad Fr. Rector has that meeting tomorrow. Prayers for him, and for you...
(((ElastiGirl)))
You need the "be still time" as that is something that has been foreign to you for a long time! You are being lead by the Spirit and there are answers. I like you wish I knew what they are. However, the Lord will use your gifts as He already has and He will not let you languish, to much work to be done! He has brought you this far and will keep you going on the path that He has planned..................
I have birthed a few Ishmael's in my life when I didn't wait as I should have. I know it's hard. Have you heard anything from the meeting yesterday? Blessings in the waiting.
From one who has been through similar, know that "All will be well". Finish your degree. Keep praying and discerning. Know that you are NOT alone.
It seems strange to describe Chicago as warmer than Dallas, but that is definitely my take!
Hugs and prayers.
Prayers, still....
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